Blog #3: Reflections on the first part of Pip's Expectations

Just recently, the Powerball was worth more than $500 million dollars. Yes, that's right, more than a half a billion dollars. Now, I know none of you are able to purchase lottery tickets, but would you have purchased that ticket? If so, how many?

As you held that hypothetical ticket in your hand, which of course you would assume was THE winning ticket, did you envision what you were going to do with all of that money? Would you pay off your parents' mortgage? Donate money to your favorite charity? Quit your job? Buy that beautiful vacation home on Torch Lake? I am not going to lie and say that I have never thought about hitting a windfall.

But when that Powerball was worth more than $500 million, I bought zero tickets. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

While I know being hit by lightning is more likely than hitting a lotto, this is not the reason why I did not purchase a ticket. I did not buy one on principle. Since my son was born, I have made a conscious effort to not wish my life away. I don't think about the what if, the possibilities...I try to avoid the fantasy. In fact, the last time I bought a lotto ticket was on March 24, 2011. My son was born the next day.

This is going to sound so cliche, but I hit the jackpot on March 25. And I realized that if I fantasized about what life could be like with (lots) more money, I would not be able to enjoy the present. I would not be able to enjoy my present, him.

I don't want to be a millionaire. I don't want to hit a jackpot. I don't want Great Expectations. I am happy with my life, and I want to embrace the moment and make this life great no matter what happens.

When I read the first half of the novel, all I think about is how Pip is wasting his youth, wasting his life...dreaming, hoping, wishing for something different. Each hour of his wondering is a moment lost.

I know its not easy to live in the present, and I am not going to lie and say that "what if" doesn't sneak into my mind every once and a while. But when it does, I stop and remind myself of everything that I should be thankful for. Pip did not see what he had and he lost his youth.

Blog #2: Alone at Home (ch. 1-5)

Last year, one of my students asked in an impromptu on TKM if it was possible to feel alone even if you are surrounded by others. While that student intended this to apply to Tom Robinson, I can't help but feel as if this more aptly connects to Pip. At least Tom had a loving wife, a black community that rallied behind him, and a dedicated lawyer in Atticus Finch. Who does Pip have in the opening chapters of Great Expectations? To be sure, I am not trying to discount the friendship of Joe, but even with all of his kind gestures (the warning of a cross Mrs. Joe and the extra servings of gravy) he does not stand up for the helpless child. As a child, if one of my parents was wrongly punishing me or yelling at me, I knew the other would stand up for me. Giving me extra gravy would just not have been enough. I feel so bad for Pip in the opening chapters. He is painted as such a pathetic character through the circumstances at the graveyard and his poor treatment by his sister that my heart aches for him throughout the beginning of the novel and through the rest of the novel.

There is much to pity in these opening chapters. Not only is Pip a helpless and neglected child, but the convict paints an equally pathetic picture. Freezing on the wet marshes on Christmas Day and crying from a simple act of kindness, paints a sympathetic character. I know he is a convict, I know he threatens to kill Pip, but my last thought related to him is his simple act of kindness of saving Pip from the wrath of his sister for the missing pork pie.

As I read this novel for the fifth time, I am noticing that Dickens paints both of these characters to be pathetic and sympathetic in the opening chapters. They are both so alone, so afraid (Pip of his sister and the convict of every sound in the night). Dickens wants the reader to connect these two characters early on. To be honest, the first time I read this novel, I did not think much of the convict after he disappears for a while after chapter five. I was a lazy reader; I neglected to see the similarities in their positions and how they clearly save each other. They needed each other in the beginning...